The Down of Running

I feel like I have been in that dream where I am running but not going anywhere, that the fear I am trying to distance myself from is only bound to catch me, and theres not one thing I can do about it.

6 years ago, If I was to know the person I am today I would be in disbelief and shock that I gave up so many dreams, goals. Mostly I would be disappointed in myself. But if I was able to tell myself of all those instances that lead me here I would hope that the younger me would see why the fear has always caught me, even when I was running.

I don't talk about running now. I actually hate talking about it, I even actually dread when I see someone I know in the running community. When I see a running post on social media I scroll so fast past it I think my pointer finger has whiplash. But what I fear the most is "Have you been running?" "Hows your training going?" "What races do you have planned?". Those questions I can live with out. But how did I get here? From living, loving the life style of being a runner to being "okay" that I haven't ran in months. How did I go from being a sponsored competitive athlete to not even remembering the last time I wore running shoes.

I am not injured, but I am beyond broken. When little jabs in life happen, they add up and have mentally killed my love for running. I used this blog in the past as a race recap, to tell in detail my feelings and emotions throughout a race. I am hoping to make some break through to why those instances, those jabs, made me hate to run and work through them to find myself and my love for running again.

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Worlds End Ultra 50k

If you don't look off to the sides, bears aren't there. If you don't focus so much on the trail infront of you, you don't see snakes... Maybe that noise I just heard was just some other runner falling into rubbish or maybe it's a bear? Well no bear and no snakes sights during this event, which is a win in my eyes! World's End Ultra Marathon. Location: Worlds End State Park, Pennsylvania Distance: 50k Elevation gain: 6200+ft Course conditions: Wet, Mud Nutrition: 2 liters water, 4 oz coke. Looking back at all the ultra marathons I have ran (over 30 finishes) closer to over 40 If you want to count the few DNFs and a few distance switches. Besides the point, out of 30+ ultras I have ran, Worlds End is the toughest, most challenging course I have come across for the 50k distance, and to make the race even more brutal, we ran it in a heat wave. Rewind to 2 weeks prior. I got an email that my name was selected off the waitlist to be a participant. I ...

No Pressure, just smiles.

Decided to move up from 12 hour to the 24 hour for NJ Trail Series One Day race on November 8. Why I moved up, has a lot to do with my upcoming race calendar. I've been trying to find a 100 to run this winter, but I couldn't find anything decently close. I feel like I'm ready for that distance, I'm curious to know what I can do. I have only ran one 100, that was on very little training and I walked the last 30 miles( 2 years ago ). So NJ One Day just fitting so perfectly with how I'm feeling about my training, also I planned on running 80-85 miles during the 12 hours, I'm also running a 12 hour (track) Dawn 2 Dusk 2 Dawn end of May and I believe my 80-85+ mile will be better off me pushing it hard on that track. Also, the 12 hour event at One Day starts at 9pm, I have nothing against night running, after all I will be doing it in the 24 hour after running 12 hours already.... As for my goals now for NJ One Day. Well, I know this is one of the last 24 hour eve...

Gearing up for training for 50k Championships

15 weeks until Caumsett USA 50k Championships!!! I don't have my races planned until after Caumsett. Which is great, gives my body time to rest, recover and a lot of time to get me in the best shape I can for championships. Last year I ran 3:48:26 (2nd over all female) also qualified me for World Trophy in Qatar. This was a 14 minute PR in 50k distance. Running this time was a little shocking since 2 weeks prior I ran 79 miles within 13 hours of a 24 hour race. I wasn't training for a 50k, so I am excited to see with focusing on that what I can do. Over the past 2 months I have won and set over all course records at Pine Creek 100k, and Sloppy Cuckoo 12 hour. Also, I have hit my PR in marathon distance (3:02) which was also only 2 weeks post a 12 hour race, again with not focusing on marathon training. I plan to take 2 weeks off (but still running maintenance miles and strength training). After that I plan to focus all my energy into 50k training. The race is in Long Island NY....

One Run Closer

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