The Down of Running

I feel like I have been in that dream where I am running but not going anywhere, that the fear I am trying to distance myself from is only bound to catch me, and theres not one thing I can do about it.

6 years ago, If I was to know the person I am today I would be in disbelief and shock that I gave up so many dreams, goals. Mostly I would be disappointed in myself. But if I was able to tell myself of all those instances that lead me here I would hope that the younger me would see why the fear has always caught me, even when I was running.

I don't talk about running now. I actually hate talking about it, I even actually dread when I see someone I know in the running community. When I see a running post on social media I scroll so fast past it I think my pointer finger has whiplash. But what I fear the most is "Have you been running?" "Hows your training going?" "What races do you have planned?". Those questions I can live with out. But how did I get here? From living, loving the life style of being a runner to being "okay" that I haven't ran in months. How did I go from being a sponsored competitive athlete to not even remembering the last time I wore running shoes.

I am not injured, but I am beyond broken. When little jabs in life happen, they add up and have mentally killed my love for running. I used this blog in the past as a race recap, to tell in detail my feelings and emotions throughout a race. I am hoping to make some break through to why those instances, those jabs, made me hate to run and work through them to find myself and my love for running again.

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Worlds End Ultra 50k

If you don't look off to the sides, bears aren't there. If you don't focus so much on the trail infront of you, you don't see snakes... Maybe that noise I just heard was just some other runner falling into rubbish or maybe it's a bear? Well no bear and no snakes sights during this event, which is a win in my eyes! World's End Ultra Marathon. Location: Worlds End State Park, Pennsylvania Distance: 50k Elevation gain: 6200+ft Course conditions: Wet, Mud Nutrition: 2 liters water, 4 oz coke. Looking back at all the ultra marathons I have ran (over 30 finishes) closer to over 40 If you want to count the few DNFs and a few distance switches. Besides the point, out of 30+ ultras I have ran, Worlds End is the toughest, most challenging course I have come across for the 50k distance, and to make the race even more brutal, we ran it in a heat wave. Rewind to 2 weeks prior. I got an email that my name was selected off the waitlist to be a participant. I ...

Skidaway Island Marathon

Since I ended up getting sick at Caumsett 50k earlier this month I felt like I should jump into another race since I was/am "race ready" I put in the work so I might as well do a race to see where I stand. Skidaway Island Marathon fell on March 26th, which was a good weekend for me to have a race. I didn't really have a goal in mind for this marathon, other than to have a good race. I thought I may be able to get 3:10/3:15 after hearing the horror stories of how humid/hot and the amount of winding turns being made on course. Weather was calling for thunderstorms, lightening and heavy rain. Yay!! Luckily I wasn't raining at the start. I started out slower than I typically would for a road marathon- which was a good move on my part, I didn't look at my watch from mile 1 to until I reached the half marathon point. I just ran comfortably chatting along with a few other runners. The course was marked very well- and was it a very zig-zagy course for sure! I'm not ...

50 Mile Training

The best training cycle I've ever gone through- I kept track of my daily runs/workouts and how I felt on them. - this is before Strava existed 🤣 So here it goes... 2023 RACES Scranton Half Marathon: (goal time: 1:35:00) 1:34:35 Dirty German Endurance 25km: (goal time: 2:05:00) Cayuga 50km : (goal time: 6:30:00) Pine Creek Challenge 50 Mile: (goal time: 7:15:00) Steamtown Marathon: (goal time: 3:15:00) JFK 50 Mile: (goal time: 7:30:00) March 6th-12th (38.8 miles 1,883ft) Taper for USATF 50k Championships turned into a recovery week. Hip is slightly inflamed due to back nerve issues so made the call to sit out of the National 50k for this year so I can make it to the next starting line. MONDAY : REST DAY TUESDAY : 7.6 Road Miles : Tempo Bursts. 1.5 WU, 2 min on 1 min off for 5 miles, 1 mile easy. Effort 7-8 (7:43/mile). WEDNESDAY : REST DAY THURSDAY : 7 Road Miles : Tempo Bursts. 1.5 WU, 1 min on 1 min off for 4 miles. 1.5 Easy. Effort 7-8(7:40/mile) FRIDAY : ACTI...

One Run Closer

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